I remember growing up that my dad wasn’t much of an athlete. He was decent at teaching soccer but he had broken his hip playing football in high school so he didn’t get around well and had two total hip replacements by my 16th birthday. My mom however was quite the softball and volleyball player. My fondest memories of my mom are her hitting me balls in the back yard and helping me learn to field a baseball. As I’ve gotten older that’s truly my favorite memory I have of my mom growing up. She taught me to play baseball but more importantly that was when she would spend time with me.
When I became a dad I couldn’t wait to play ball with my kids. Baseball, basketball, soccer, football or even just ping pong in the basement! Does every child love sports? No, but if they are even a little interested I highly recommend you go outside and play with your kids. (That’s really the point, play with your kids.). My sons will often say to me, “Dad can we go outside and play catch?” And it is RARE that I tell them no. It’s a way to connect because once you start throwing the baseball or football they start talking to you. And let’s be honest, any time you can start getting your kids (especially teenagers) to talk to you, then you keep doing that activity so they keep talking!
This goes for being a Bonus-Parent as well. I can tell you 100% that by me going outside and playing soccer with Sommer (Angie’s youngest) that it developed a relationship between the two of us that I cherish. When I started dating Angie, I wanted to connect with her kids and since I played soccer all thru high school and Sommer loved playing soccer all I had to do was go outside and kick the ball with her. Let her shoot shots at me standing in goal (I was a goalie in high school).
Even just having a ping-pong table in our basement has led to many nights of the kids wanting to play dad (because they want to beat me and they do now). Often times one ping pong game turns into another kid coming down and wanting to play dad. Then the next thing you know multiple kids are hanging out watching a basement ping pong game and talking. It’s an easy and beautiful thing.
What’s the reward? Personally, I have many memories of Carter, Dane and Sommer winning Championships in Baseball, Basketball and Soccer with huge HUGS that I remember after the games. Those HUGS mean more because I know we worked on things together. Another reward? Your kids know that you will show up for them and it helps develop your relationship so they can trust you for advice in life. If your child doesn’t love sports find things they do love and connect that way. With Lexi it’s going to concerts and with Chace going to the gym. When Hallie was alive it was taking her and her college roommate out on Wednesday nights and driving them around.
There are ways to connect with your kids if you just say “Yes” when they ask you. That’s the message, show up, say yes and be present when your kids want to spend time with you. I swear you will never regret giving your time to your kids.
Putting in the miles for the long game..
Aric
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